I feel so alone. People I loved have abandoned me… Have I changed that much? I know I am a different person… to deny that would be to deny the hell that I have lived the last 29 months.
Year three of grief is so much harder than year one and two. I’m tired and I am physically achy and the ache to see my girl is so strong. I miss her so much. I had so much I wanted to teach her and do with her. I feel her absence more now than two years ago or even last month. I feel the memories slipping away… the more tired I get the more forgetful I become.
Will I forget the sound of her voice, her laugh. The fear is enormous. It completely consumes me.
Today at church we celebrated Epiphany Sunday and our Pastor passed out stars printed with many different words Each member draws a star with a word from the basket and that word becomes the person’s word for the year. You cannot put the word back, and you may need a year to figure out the meaning of that word in your life.
That word will be your “gift” for the year — a word of invitation to be pondered in your heart through the rest of the year. It may be a word that you need in your life (time, hope, etc.), or it may be a word that will leave you wondering why in the world you were given that particular word to ponder. Whatever your word, it will be a gift to you if you ponder it, pray over it, think about it, etc.
My word for the year is Empathy.
the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Empathy. Do I need to be more empathetic? Do I crave empathy from others? Not to be confused for sympathy… they are very different.
To me empathy is another form of kindness and I am trying to live my life with a kind and patient heart.
I think this is a great word for me to set my intention on for the new year.